


The right choice

by ChocoNut



Series: Many ways to say I love you [8]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Post Season 7, Post-Canon, Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 03:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: As the Red Keep goes up in flames, Jaime is torn between the two women in his life





	The right choice

“Jaime!” Cersei’s screams echoed through the burning room. “You can’t leave me here to die,” she shrieked, trapped in the ring of fire that was slowly threatening to engulf her.

Jaime glanced around frantically, his senses temporarily numbed at the sight of everything around him falling to pieces.

_Burn them all…_

This cannot be happening, he thought, unable to believe his cursed fate. To his other side was Brienne, crouched low on floor, rendered immobile due to her injured leg. “Get out of here, Ser Jaime,” she urged, when she caught him looking at her, the urgency and desperation in her voice unmistakable. “Don’t worry about me. Save yourself.” As if to justify her panic, a heavy burning log crashed to the ground, blocking his access to her except for a narrow gap at the end. The air was now so thick with smoke that he couldn’t see her anymore. “Go,” she cried out again. “Just leave.”

Torn between the two of them, Jaime was at a loss for what to do, when Cersei shouted at him again.

“Stay with me if you can’t save me, brother.” There was an edge to her tone. “We were born together and we will die together, in each other’s arms. How could you even imagine life without me?”

As he stood there rueing his fate, hating that he had to take a decision, everything that had led them to this situation came back to him in a flash. How his sister had held Sansa hostage, how Brienne had insisted that she man a rescue mission to free the girl, how Jaime had been adamant and made sure that he accompanied her, and how the wench had pushed him away to safety when the fire started, throwing herself in the path of the flames to save the girl... all of it haunted him now that the end seemed near. Somewhere, what began as a bid to save Sansa had turned into a full blown battle, with Daenerys deciding to put an end to the vile queen once and for all. She had unleashed one of her dragons on the castle, resulting in the Red Keep going up in flames. What had not occurred to the mad queen was that while the wench had safely sent Sansa out, she and Jaime were still trapped inside along with Cersei, and they would perish too if they failed to get out on time. _Does Daenerys even bother about the two of us?_

While the intention of this mission was to rescue Sansa, killing Cersei, or letting her die was something that he was not prepared for. Capturing her and getting her to surrender was more of the logical conclusion he had been looking at. He could still do that, he could manage to get her out alive, but… that would mean sacrificing the wench. He didn’t have the time to save them both. If he tried, all of them would die.

“Jaime, I love you,” she called out again, the beseeching look in her eyes begging him to save her. “Give me a chance, give _us_ another chance.” She paused, coughing her lungs out. “I’m the love of your life, you _chose_ me when you could have had any woman you wanted, remember?”

 _You chose me…_ her words rang in his head as he slowly turned to the wench. “Brienne!” he croaked, his throat dry from the smoke he had inhaled.

“That bloody cow again!” Cersei exclaimed, the venom in her voice forcing him to tear his gaze away from Brienne. Her eyes gleamed with jealousy as he stared into them in disbelief, unable to digest that even in the hopeless situation she was in, she had enough spite in her to insult Brienne without provocation. By putting herself in danger, the wench had attempted to save their asses. Far from recognizing that, his sister had opted to direct her fury at her instead.

 _That ‘bloody cow’ means much more to me than you can imagine._ His mind returning to Brienne, he hoped she was still alive, mouthing a wordless prayer to the gods to keep her safe, while the memory of a conversation with her long back hit him like a bolt of lightning.

_We don’t get to choose who we love…_

How true that was! Never once since he had met the wench, did Jaime realize that he would grow to care for her so deeply. Cersei was right. All along, life had presented him with choices at various crossroads, and he had always put his sister over everything else, he had chosen her every time, disregarding everything and everyone else… until Brienne had stormed into his life.

Only now, did the depth of his belief hit him. He didn’t choose Brienne, but she was the one he--

“Jaime!” Cersei was now hysterical, almost at her wit’s end.

He had made his decision. “I’m sorry, Cersei, I’m tired of all your cold blooded deeds in your quest for the throne. See what your so-called power has reduced you to,” he lamented, on the one hand sick of her selfishness, while on the other, feeling bad for her. “I did choose you then, but fate happened to choose someone else for me.”

Cersei looked livid. “That wench--”

“Yes,” he admitted, more to himself than to her. “I can’t bear to live while she burns before my eyes.” He swallowed, the lump in his throat obstructing his speech as the true meaning of Brienne’s decision to save him dawned upon him. “Love doesn’t mean dying together, it means sacrificing yourself for the one you care for,” he whispered, his eyes on the dense cloud of smoke hiding Brienne from sight.

_I’m not going to let her die for me._

Without wasting any more time, he stumbled towards the burning log, his eyes watering as he went deeper into the smoke. He had to get the obstacle out of his path, and the only way to get to her was to widen the tiny gap that separated them. He began pushing the log with all his might, his sleeve nearly catching fire and singeing at the edges, but he didn’t care. Squeezing the upper half of his body through the space he had created, he reached out for her arm, but could only grasp her fingers. “Brienne,” he coughed, desperate to catch a glimpse of her face that was still obscured by the smoke. But no response came, nor did he sense any movement, his despair only increasing every second. _Please don’t be dead, wench!_ He worked with all the strength he could muster, finally succeeding in making enough room to get to the other side and drag her out of the burning corner.

He lay still for a second, holding her tightly against his body, savouring her weight against him. Her chest on his, her breathing came in heavy, unsteady bursts, but it came, nonetheless. “Thank the gods!” He closed his eyes in relief, comforted by the feel of her heartbeat against him.  

The moment of short success had passed and he had to act again, for they were not yet out of danger. “Brienne,” he tried to revive her, tapping her cheek, hoping she would respond to him. After a few repeated attempts, she coughed violently, her eyes slowly fluttering open, staring into his in surprise.

“You didn’t... leave?” Her voice was hoarse, the words punctuated by coughs. “I told you to get out--”

“ _We_ are getting out of here,” he said, determined for the first time that day to do what he really wanted.

She made a face. “But--”

“Shut your mouth,” he almost shouted. “For once in your life, wench, just keep quiet and listen to me.” He calmed himself down, wanting to focus on the immediate problem in their hands. “Now, if we don’t move our asses out of here, we’re going to end up as roasted meat for Drogon, or whatever else its bloody name is.” He hated dragons, more so now, when they had to suffer the aftermath of its wrath. When she didn’t object this time, he staggered to his feet, helping her up and wrapping his stump around her waist, supporting her against him. They limped away as quickly as they could, the fire behind them consuming everything on its way. The castle would soon be dust, and they had to make haste if they didn’t want to be buried alive.

With the gate just a few meters ahead, they hobbled towards it, but there was a limit to Brienne’s pace, and with her broken leg they could do no better than that. “We have to hurry.” Jaime panicked, turning back to glance at the flames that would soon overtake them, swallowing everything in its path. “We’re not far off--”

She stopped abruptly. “You go, I can’t… not with this leg--”

He had no time for her ridiculous protests. Grabbing her wrist despite her resistance, he lifted her bodily and carried her as they rushed towards safety. As soon as they were close enough to the exit, he leapt, hoping to cover the remaining distance with the jump, while holding her tightly against him. Once he had crossed the threshold, he kept moving, not daring to wait, or waste time looking behind him. When they had made it to a safe distance, he crashed to the ground, his legs buckling from the strain of supporting her.

They were both safe… out of harm’s way, with the remnants of the castle collapsing behind them.

 _Cersei was gone!_ He sighed softly, his heart heavy for she was his blood, his family. Despite being evil, she would always have a place in a corner of his heart, that was something he couldn't help. But on the brighter side, he had something else to look forward to...

“Brienne,” he said softly, letting himself drown in the eyes that had come so dangerously close to shutting forever. He lay there on top of her, not bothering to get off her, nor wishing to look away from her.

“Ser Jaime, your sister--” she faltered, her eyes shining brighter than usual on her blackened, sooty face.

Cersei’s death had, no doubt, left a void in him, but what left him far more perturbed was something else entirely. “How dare you decide to sacrifice yourself? What gave you the right to subject yourself to unnecessary risk for me?” he confronted her, anger and frustration boiling inside him at the thought of the outcome, had she succeeded. “You’re stubborn and stupid, but I never knew you were this big an idiot.”

She gave him a long hard look. “You didn’t leave me there to die, either,” she countered. “Why me? Why not her? Why risk your life for me?”

Something in her tone calmed him down. “Because I made the right choice--” he gazed at her longingly, pushing a lock of grimy hair off her forehead “--by not making a choice at all.”

“I don’t understand.” She looked puzzled.

“There never really was a choice, was there?” He searched her eyes, instantly finding what he was looking for, although clouded by a hint of doubt and uncertainty.

“But she was the love of your--”

Weary of her doubts, Jaime pressed his mouth on hers, kissing her hungrily, silencing her, putting to rest all further questions. His fingers caressed her face while he let himself be consumed by his feelings for her. Calling it merely a kiss would perhaps be an understatement; it was all the love he had for her that had been locked up somewhere in the depths of his heart for ages, slowly, but surely, growing over time. It was the desire and ache he harboured for her, something that had been simmering inside him for years, finally gushing out like water from a dam thrown open. Closing his eyes, he took his time to taste her. She felt like smoke and ash, fire and dust, and while that should have been repulsive, he realized that he found her far more intoxicating than the strongest ale his lips had touched. He wanted more than just a kiss, he wanted her, he wanted to make her his. He teased her lips with his tongue and she responded, allowing him to deepen the kiss, surrendering to him, causing him to let go of whatever remaining self restraint he had. He lost himself in her, his lips crushing hers and his tongue exploring her mouth until he could breathe no more.

“Ser Jaime--” she breathed, panting heavily when they broke apart.

 _Gods, how many chances have I missed!_ He had to tell her before this became another lost opportunity. He had to tell her the way it had to be told. “I love you, Brienne,” he confessed, feeling strangely at peace, despite the world around him crumbling to pieces. His world was here, in her arms. “I never thought it would take me so long to understand the simplest, most beautiful truth of my life. Only when I saw you dying did I realize--” he stopped to think, shuddering at the possibility which had came so dangerously close to reality “--you were never my choice, Brienne, but you’re my destiny. You’re an inseparable part of me, one that I cannot live without.”

Brienne glanced up at him. “I hated you at first, but ever since you jumped in front of that bear for me, I hated myself for falling in love with you, hoping against hope that my feelings for you would magically disappear. I tried my best to get you out of my heart.” She smiled, her face glowing despite the dirt and grime on it. “But you simply refused to leave.”

“Oh, I never will. You can trust me on that, wench,” he murmured, trailing his thumb along her cheek and down to her lip, causing her to shiver beneath him. He bent down to kiss her again, when he was interrupted by a loud, artificial cough by his side.

“I’m sorry to disturb whatever it is that you two were upto, but Queen Daenerys is waiting for you,” Bronn drawled, smirking down at them with his arms smugly crossed across his chest.

“We were just...coming…” His face burning, Jaime got to his feet, helping Brienne up as well.

Bronn stood there, watching them squirm in embarrassment, enjoying himself. “I can find you an empty tent later on.” He grinned wider when they reddened at his offer. Turning to Pod who was hovering nearby, he quipped joyfully. “See, I win, Podrick. They’re going to fook tonight--”

“Bronn!” Jaime threw him a warning look, though Bronn wasn’t too far away from what he was thinking.

Bronn put up his hands in mock surrender and walked away, leaving them alone once again. Jaime turned to his wench. “I’m looking forward to that empty tent.” He gave her a seductive wink that left a pretty blush on her cheeks. “We’ll talk later. There’s so much I want to tell you--” he gushed, holding her hand for a brief moment before he reluctantly let go of it “--so much I want to hear… I’ll come to you soon, I promise.”

She nodded, giving him a shy smile. “I’ll be waiting.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, do share your comments and feedback!  
> I admit, I've not been updating a couple of my older fics as regularly as I would have liked to. To those who are still reading them, thank you for your patience, and I assure you, the updates are coming :)


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